Naming your child is a big deal; they’re only stuck with it for the rest of their lives. People took to the internet to share the weirdest, very real names they’ve heard.
Note: Some quotes in this piece have been lightly edited for grammar.
1: Spreading Holiday Cheer
One person says they once knew a girl named Mary Christmas. “What were her parents thinking?” Another says their classmate was named Merry Christmas Trees, so at least they’re not alone.
2: Barrel Aged
“My husband taught a kid named Jack Daniels,” says one educator’s spouse. “The kid thought it was hilarious. The parents were sort of ‘cool’ people. I guess it worked for him.”
3: Shining Bright
One commenter said they had a former classmate named Sparkle. Luckily, she lived up to her name. “She was such a wonderful person!”
4: A Vacation To Remember
One commenter’s friend from high school had twins named Tiki and Torch. Yes, really. “Conceived on [a] honeymoon to Hawaii. I still can’t believe it three years later.”
5: Double Trouble
A commenter says they knew a set of twins named Tweela and Twyla. “Twyla was the regional supervisor for the clothing store I worked at in high school.” Funnily enough, they’re not the only ones. Someone else commented, “I assume you’re not from Wisconsin because that means there’s a second set of Tweela and Twyla out there. I was in middle school with them in the early 00s.”
6: Christmas Miracles
There was no shortage of questionable twin names in the thread. Another commenter said, “I went to school with twins born in December, so their parents named them Dece and Ember.”
7: How Symbolic
“In walks Elon and the kids whose names I don’t have the right keys on my keyboard to even spell properly,” says one commenter on the polarizing Tesla co-founder’s choice for his children’s names.
8: Interesting Choice
As you can imagine, teachers get to see a lot of names throughout their careers. One teacher said, “I think the worst I’ve had was Wiley Minx.”
9: Flavorful Moniker
“Vanilla (first name) Pepper (middle name),” says one commenter. They add, “If you’re gonna name your kid after ingredients, at least make it a combo that makes sense.”
10: Cut the Mustard
One commenter knew someone named Dijon. “Like the mustard. And the city in France.” Another commenter says they were co-workers with someone named Dijon, and that’s how they’d introduce themselves, “Dijon like the mustard.”
11: Too Soon
One commenter knows a few kids named after a very recent pandemic: Covid. “Yes, they (there was more than one kid) were born in 2020.”
12: Smart Move
“I met a 12-year-old named Whizdom,” says one commenter. Interesting choice.
13: Somewhere Over the Reignbeaux
One commenter says the weirdest name they’ve seen is Reignbeaux. “The face I just made reading that…” another commenter responded.
14: Star-Studded Names
One commenter took the time to rattle off many questionable celebrity name choices. “Beautiful Zeppelin Cannon, Powerful Queen Cannon, Rise Mesiah Cannon, Exa Dark Siderael Musk, Techno Mechanicus Musk, Apple Martin, Moxy Crime Fighter Jillett, Jermajesty Jackson…” to name a few. “Didn’t make a single one of these up,” they said.
15: Measuring Up
“There’s a kid in my son’s class named Unit,” one commenter says. Somebody else responded and said they think it’s honestly hysterical.
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